During the stop and start of revision, I always forget that this is part of the process, rather than a reason to give up. Usually, a five-page essay goes through at least ten revisions, numerous readings (silent ones, that is) at Starbucks, back again to the computer, and the enormous amount of printer paper? I should buy it at Costco.
I'm working on a piece tentatively title "The Ambivalent Memoirist." Instead of merely aching about my inability to move forward on the demon MFA thesis, I decided to take my dilemma to the page. It feels good to work something out in writing, not just in my brain.
The trickiest part of writing this essay, is that the subject matter veers in many directions. While writing about my ambivalence--which reared its head while getting my MFA--other issues come into play. Writing programs all have their own personality; in one way they're similar--is that ultimately you put your work in the hands of ten (maybe more) others--and they run with their criticisms (politely known as feedback).
I have a pretty tough skin when it comes to having my work critiqued, but one instructor's harshness stung. And so my essay wants to tell what it's like to write in an MFA program. Clearly, that's a topic I need to write about--but I'm determined to complete the one I started.
This summer I was able to complete two other essays--and send them on their way. There are still publications that don't accept email submissions. And so, I returned to a task I loved in the early stages of my career--addressing envelopes, gathering a packet with the ms. and cover letter, making a wish as I dropped the precious work down the mail chute.
My last week of vacation stretches before me. Tasks at hand: finish the essay, go to the beach, finish my syllabus (!), accept that most people work fifty weeks a year. My time off was a gift and will come around again.
Followers
